Monday Musings

Monday, September 30, 2008

05:15

WAHN-WAHN-WAHN!!

…Dammit…It can’t be five already.

*glances at clock*

Wrong. It is. Hit the snooze button. No, no. The wieners have to go out.

*yawn, stretch*

I’d rather cut off my arm and beat myself with it than go in today. Oh wait, that’s right. I’m broke. Well, let’s get at it.

The thought of getting up this morning and going to work sickened me slightly. I was so comfortable: sheets soft, familiar smells, perfect arrangement of the four pillows I sleep with, cool breeze off the fan, and that wonderful sunk-in feeling. I don’t know if that makes sense to anyone else. But, “sunk-in” is the only way I can describe it; that wonderful feeling of being gelled to the mattress, muscles relaxed and tension gone. I meant to go to bed early. I always mean to go to bed early. Never happens. Damn TCM, and showers, and laundry, and preparations, and date books, and-and…on and on.

Stop bitching. It’s time to get dressed. Now, where is that other shoe?


06:15

I’m walking down the deserted corridor; it’s the only time of day it’s deserted. I miss coming to work at 5am. Not the whole getting up and having to be here—that was awful—but, I miss the absolute eerie silence of this city. Very few people are about even at 6:15; however, you have the buzz of operations: doors opening/closing, elevators, and the occasional industrious intern. At 5, there’s no one. No one. My old position was one of the firsts to start operations here. They were always cleaning the floors at 5, so the halls were blocked off. No people. No sounds. It was peaceful. Very much unlike 9am when you can barely squeeze down the corridors, bumping elbows with the entire spectrum of lives. I make my way to the coffee shop. I don’t always frequent it. It’s expensive and the coffee’s not so great. Although I can proudly say I’ve been coffee free since May. I wanted a hot chocolate. I wanted something warm to fill this chill I seemed to possess. HC in hand, I made my way upstairs. It’s not time to go into the office just yet. So, I make myself comfortable on the couch outside my office. Lobby is empty this morning; I find some rest; little pleasures that make the morning a little brighter. I pull the packet of loose papers from my bag. I bent the corners.

For the love of Pete, I hate bent corners. This isn’t MLA format…Honestly, self, shut up.

Editor mode shut down. We’ll do that later. So with hot choc in hand, I settled in to read him as is my usual 6:45am practice. Today is a little more exciting. This time I’ve got my hands on something new: exclusively him, though a softer attitude, almost genteel. Or maybe its seemingly genteel veneer to to hide something much more sinister—the innocent vulgarity of an affair of this kind. Hmm, I may be thinking to hard. The tone of the piece seemed to mirror its title.

…Coffee mug…brilliant...

I almost wish it was the whole pot. The hot chocolate and the short story compliment each other and I wonder if that choice was serendipitous.


09:00

The world of preggos is bustling. I finally get a chance to make the web rounds. My top 5 sites I visit daily: Gmail, Facebook, Blog scenes, Internet banking, and Hulu. Facebook is more active than usual, many a message to read from those I haven’t talked to in awhile. I find it intriguing that people go for weeks, months even, without contacting you and then, all a sudden, folks come out of the woodwork at the same time. It seems as thought the realization of my continued existence dawns on people; a strange occurrence, but a pleasant surprise from most. Which reminds me, I am the worst at keeping in touch with people, and that realization (*twinge of pain*) reminds me of the long list of people I should call and check up on. These feelings are preceded by the even crueler sting of missing my best friend. That’s a toughie. We’ll skip that for now.

Just received a message from Jay (name has been changed for blogging purposes). He’s sent me the link to a very amusing post. Let’s just say I found it very…uh…refreshing. It put a smile on my Monday morning face. Hmm, that could be a song lyric.

10:08

I’m working with complete morons! If she doesn’t get out of my office soon, I may loose my paycheck…Grrrr!

No, I’m sorry I can’t help you. See, I don’t use that program, never have. So you see I can’t fix something I don’t actually use. I don’t know who to call. So stop yelling at me to fix your error and leave my office immediately before I start stapling things to your forehead. :o)

Okay, breathe. Find your happy place…

10:42

I just received the first call of my shift to report new life.


13:28

It’s after lunch, which consisted of left over lo mien and too little time. I got very busy for awhile there. People in the back didn’t help that situation much.

This place might not function with out me…Wait, no it’d do just fine.

However, I reported a coworker to the supervisor—

Muah ha ha ha ha ha ha!!

--she decided she’d yell and act completely unprofessional in front of customers and other employees. Those other employees complained even without my knowledge. So, there’s some salvation in that :o) Woot for the little guys!

14:59

Do it. C’mon, just do it. You know you love them. It’s not that much; plus, look! Free shipping!

So, I went to American Apparel online and splurged on a pair of black leather leggings and a black hoodie dress. Now, I didn’t spend ten-tons of money—no worries. But, I’ll have something fun to expect in the mail instead of just bills.

15:50

On the road again…

2 S’s
A Spud
And, a Fajah = squishy

I will call him squishy, and he will be mine. And, he will be my squishy.


17:30

In route, with the Fajah, to run errands: Walgreen’s and Gahanna Pizza Plus. Ah, Gahanna Pizza Plus that fine establishment, which was my first job. I was sixteen. I worked there two months before I was fired…ahem…quit.

I stopped showing up. That’s quitting. So, when they called to fire me, I just didn’t disagree. Well, at least I got a cell phone out of that experience.

And, I learned that I never, ever want to work with food again. I’m ashamed to say that of the jobs I’ve held two were food related; I just kind of stopped showing up in both cases. Maybe because it sucked: hours, people, and pay. However, I do miss the little snacks I used to create. My favorite snack from PP involved a thick slice of mozzarella cheese, pepperoni, and Italian dressing. That place still has the best Italian sub in town. Anyway, needless to say, I have conformed quite a bit since 16—at least where employment is concerned.

Thank God that I’ve changed a whole lot since 16.

Although, I wish I had my 16 year old body back. That’d be nice. I weighed a whole 105 lbs. Those were the days. I could wear anything I wanted.

Not the case these days, missy.

Which reminds me, Lifetime probably thinks I’ve died; however, theater has replaced the workout slot. It’s back to business once the show closes. That and choir starts. Oh, and that bugger the GRE. The time to hesitate is over (Anyone know that quote? Anyone? Anyone?)!

I should look over my lines tonight and internalize those notes on mood and attitude…


18:22

…Or, I can watch Major League on On-Demand with my Faj and bro.

Wild Thing, do-doo do-do-do

20:00 pm

I decide to watch Dancing with the Stars with the Madre. It’s the only T.V. that I’ve watched lately, which isn’t in black and white. I watched Gilda the other night; if I could look like anyone Rita Hayworth would be in the top three. Maybe in my next life.

Man, these people cannot dance. Find-the-beat…1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8...it’s a lost cause this week.

Rhythm. You either got it or you don’t.

22:00

I was going to go to bed early. However, I’ve decided to dick around for the past 45 minutes. That, and making preparations for another day of work. Lunch—packed, clothes—selected, and bag—ready to roll. I guess it’s time to get ready for bed:

Shower
Wash hair
Wash face
Brush teeth
Floss
Toner
Under eye cream
Anti-aging serum

Yes, I realize I don’t have any wrinkles. By why do you think that is, huh?

Eye drops
Chapstick
Coco butter lotion
Brush hair

These are all the things it takes for me to actually look decent…so sad…I’m a collection of chemicals. Well, that’s actually true even before the additives. Gah!

Time for bed.
Night everyone.
Sweet Dreams.

23:30

…I have been arrrround the world. Looking for that woman, girl, who knows love can endure.

I awaken to the phone ringing. Though groggy, I know who it is. He’s returning my call.

**Yawn**

It’s about time…

**Glances at clock**

Ha, right on time.

For an instant, I consider not answering, but I know myself better. I’ve been waiting. I’m more awake now. We talk. It’s good to talk. It was a good choice to answer. And, a scene plays repeatedly in the forefront of my mind.

Back to bed.
Dreams commence…